Strange days

My emotions are out of control! Im hysterically crying at the happy things and not crying at the sad things.
Sophias coming home Tuesday July 21st. What a sweet day it will be! Yesterday, I was talking to Angela, her primary day nurse, and she said thats she'd be on vacation and wouldnt be here for Sophias last day. I BURST into tears!
This woman saved Sophias life when she went into cardiac arrest. This woman recognized Sophia was having seizures and gave her meds to stop them. This woman re-intubated Sophia twice when she stopped breathing. This woman has given me tissues and hugs, advise and an open forum to talk. She also was the one whispering medical terms in my ear when the doctors were doing rounds and quizzing me on Sophias meds, making sure I knew everything that was going on and into my baby. She calls me at home to let me know the suggestions she has for the babys care (nurses always know the babies better than the docs, Ive learned).

The day of the seizures and EEG Angela told me, "Babies brains and bodies are resiliant. Ive seen babies come back from much worse."

Angela, David, Isabella and I have celebrated SO much together. Sophias first cry when Angela ran from the other room, saying "I heard it!" Sophias first "meal", the time she started moving her "bad" arm. The day before heart surgery and the horrible days after. The final extubation, the day she got her first bath. Her first smile. 2 Days ago, I walked into Sophias room and Angela was changing her clothes, crying, and saying, "Im going to miss you so much Sophia". Sophia was giving her a HUGE smile.

I think Ive made my point. This Angela lady is amazing! ;) Im not sure how I am supposed to thank her. My idea of a small photo album doesnt seem enough! Ive been loading her up with Starbucks and food for a while (and shes pregnant, so she LOVES it!) but it doesnt even seem to make a dent in the amount of thanks I NEED to give her. She made me less afraid of my baby with all the wires and IVs. She gave me the courage to speak up to the doctors, which has paid off! The docs ask for MY opinion every single day. (VERY weird feeling)

I am humbled by Angela (and all the other amazing nurses too!).